http://www.b-masters.com Meh. I've seen worse. Thu, 02 Jul 2009 16:38:38 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en Seriously, those morons can't do anything interesting with this plethora of riches? Ant mega-colony takes over world. Jabootu correspondent Eric Belzer sends this important update Creatures from the Sewer And just in time for the SyFy Network to rip off a major upcoming movie MegaPirahna! http://www.b-masters.com/2009/07/02/calling-the-syfy-network-again/ When was the last time that the FBI was presented as (a) entirely competent, and (b) scrupulously upright?  You may have to go all the way back to F.B.I. Girl (1951) for an example. http://www.b-masters.com/2009/07/01/go-you-heroic-g-men-go/ ...so instead of doing anything productive, I changed the theme. Because the only time you see this Mormon drunk is when he's drunk with power! http://www.b-masters.com/2009/06/30/i-got-that-itching-in-my-palms/ As previously announced with great joy, Night of the Creeps is finally getting a DVD release from Sony this year. Amazon.com is inviting the public to vote for one of the following DVD covers: Excuse me, but What. The. Hell. The original theatrical poster, which was used for the VHS box, ... http://www.b-masters.com/2009/06/30/the-good-news-is-your-dates-are-here-the-bad-news-is-your-dvd-cover-sucks/ I'll never forget the look on my dog's face when one of our guests at a barbecue fed her a veggie burger when she was expecting the real thing. That, and the ptoo! that followed. I bring this up because it's so close to my reaction to Mega Shark versus Giant ... http://www.b-masters.com/2009/06/26/megalodont-or-what-most-syfy-movies-are-like/ http://www.b-masters.com/2009/06/25/why-arent-more-syfy-movies-like-this/ The movie is Framed. The star is Joe Don Baker. Do I have to say any more? (Well, yeah, I did also write a full-length review of the movie that I hope you'll read, but you know what I mean.) http://www.b-masters.com/2009/06/25/somethings-cooking-with-baker/ The quickest way to describe Mask of the Dragon (1951), a cheap Chinatown-flavored suspense thriller, is this: You know you're scraping the bottom when Lyle Talbot is your most accomplished cast member. (That's not him in the picture.) http://www.b-masters.com/2009/06/24/authenticity-is-not-a-municipality-in-china/ TRIP TO MOON It appears that what these apparent scientist types are doing is plotting out some kind of a moon landing, but they are soon distracted from that task by a flash outside the window. One of the scientists wanders off to investigate, and is soon greeted by a bewitching ... http://www.b-masters.com/2009/06/23/mooned-by-dara-singh/ THE HIGH AND THE MIGHTY (1954) Well, here it is, folks: the first honest-to-God modern disaster movie, brought to you by the Duke himself. Halfway between Hawaii and San Francisco, a commercial airliner loses a propeller, suffering engine damage and the loss of critical fuel in the process. Over time, it becomes increasingly clear ... http://www.b-masters.com/2009/06/21/fasten-your-seatbelts-pilgrims/