I’ll be mostly eschewing movie reviews for November (except, of course, for the Roger Corman roundtable — I wouldn’t risk dissing our patron saint!), as I’ll be throwing my efforts into NaNoWriMo (that’s National Novel Writing Month). You can check my progress in the widget on the sidebar of my blog, NathanShumate.com.
Archive for category Hoopla
He’s King Of The World!!
Oct 31
—and not that upstart protege of his.
From monsters to mutants, aliens to artists, commandoes to cowboys, gangsters to gunslingers, beatniks to bikers – and from William Shatner to Vincent Price – he’s the guy that’s done it all.
That’s right, folks: this time around the B-Masters pay long overdue tribute to the man who turned penny-pinching into an art form; who convinced the critics that it wasn’t “cheap”, it was “stark”; who outraged his employers by making actual art; and who unleashed an entire generation of film-makers upon an unsuspecting public.
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Join us as we pay tribute to the astonishing career of Roger Corman – the true King Of The Bs.
It’s HE CONQUERED THE WORLD – all throughout November at the B-Masters’ Blog.
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So, um, I have a blog. It’s kind of where the other side of my brain hangs out. The snob.
And guess what? I’ve found something even more obscure to write about than pre-Airport disaster movies and made-for-TV killer animal films.
After several false starts, it’s just beginning to look something like what it should be. However, as I said over at the BMMB, while I’ll be very happy if anyone feels like stopping by for a visit, please don’t feel obliged. I certainly appreciate that this stuff is far from most people’s cup of, uh, coffee.
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While there’s no question that the 1970s were responsible for many, many embarrassing things, one phenomenon for which the decade has no need to apologise is that of the made-for-television movie. In 1969, the ABC network premiered its Tuesday night Movie Of The Week; and so successful did it prove that not only did ABC expand the program to Tuesday and Saturday, but almost forced the other networks to compete by establishing their own MFTV units, as well as prompting an increase in that sort of production by the major motion picture studios.
However, these little films, known for their professionalism and casts of reliable familiar faces, were no mere filler: many of them could boast a remarkable writing pedigree; quite a number dealt seriously with controversial issues, including alcoholism, drug abuse and homosexuality; although at the same time, there is no doubt that fans of genre fare like horror, science fiction and disaster movies were particularly well served.
But then the 80s arrived, and made the 70s seem less embarrasing by comparison. The time of the MFTVM sputtered to a close. It was, indeed, the end of an era; an era that we at the B-Masters intend to spend a full month celebrating. Join us as we relive the memories…and the nightmares.
So DON’T TOUCH THAT DIAL! – all through the month of August at the B-Masters’ Blog.
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Monday July 19th SUPER CHEESE DAY!
6:00 AM The Manster Have you seen this one? You’ve got to!
7:15 AM The Killer Shrews
8:30 AM Wild Wild Planet Essential, utterly insane ‘60s Italian sci-fi!
10:15 AM War of the Planets Same deal!
12:00 PM THE GREEN SLIME! It on TCM, so it will undoubtedly be LETTERBOXED! Set your Tivos or whatever!
1:45 PM Soylent Green
Then, if that sort of thing is your bag:
3:30 2001: A Space Odyssey
6:00 PM 2010
Oh, and King Kong, the Hunchback of Notre Dame (Lon Chaney) and Seventh Seal are on tonight.
We’ve all got them, right? – those relatives you’d rather not acknowledge – that uncle who embarrasses you at every birthday party – those cousins you don’t invite to the family reunions (but who show up anyway)? And even if we did want to ignore their existence, film-makers all around the world have spent decades making certain that we can’t. So join us as we call a truce on the Darwinian name-calling, and give our big hairy brothers a hug.
It’s Foot Notes – all throughout the month of May at the B-Masters’ Blog!
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Just because you can’t respect a movie doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it. The Golden Age of Crap serves up a sampling of junk-food flicks that gained their audiences on videocassette rental shelves during the ’80s and ’90s, a time when one couldn’t visit the video rental store without being tempted by Italian post-apocalyptic adventures, ninja revenge yarns, and zombie-filled “camcorder epics.” The movies covered here run from sleeper hits (Phantasm II) to cult favorites (The Dead Next Door), from unknown stinkers (Plutonium Baby) to undiscovered gems (America’s Deadliest Home Video), all examined with a critical but fun-loving eye.
TC on FB
Mar 14
Oh yeah, for some reason I never made a Teleport City Facebook page. Well, it was rainy all weekend so I made one instead of finishing my review of Heavy Metal 2000. Look for it under Teleport City or http://www.facebook.com/pages/Teleport-City/10150120194230453
Thud & Blunder
Jan 31
It’s Roundtable month again, folks! This time around we’re taking a look at prehistory according to the B-movies, at tales of those times back when the earth was populated by Neanderthals, or by barbarians, or by conquerors, or by warrior princesses, or by evil overlords with hokey powers (conveyed by hokier special effects)…or by all of them at once. From cavemen to Conan, from swords to sorcerors, from fur bikinis to chain-mail brassieres, you’ll find it all here!
It’s 10,000 B.S. – all throughout the month of February at the B-Masters’ Blog!
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…on behalf of my colleagues, to wish all of our visitors to this blog, whether they be chatty or silent, a very happy New Year. Thank you one and all for your support – it is very much appreciated!
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Picking at My Scabs
Dec 21
Well, once again, I got restless and redesigned Teleport City. A couple years ago, I split all the travel, book, and music stuff off into a separate site. At the time it seemed like a good idea. It wasn’t. So it’s back. And of course, all sorts of older articles are broken, but at least I didn’t have to rewrite every single link. Plus, Jenny Agutter now stares at yo invitingly from the top of the page.
We also reviewed CHRISTMAS EVIL.
1980’s Christmas Evil is, I believe, the first of the Killer Santa Claus movies, which is odd if true. Used properly, Santa can be almost as creepy as a clown or a ventriloquist dummy, yet is sadly underutilized in popular culture. Maybe Santa is still too powerful a symbol. Luckily, maverick writer/director Lewis Jackson decided to blaze a trail by creating one of the first psychotic movie Santa Clauses, opening the floodgates for killer leprechauns, Uncle Sams, and perhaps, one day, cupids.
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FLASHBACK—-
It was the mid-1990s. The internet was more than just a gleam in Al Gore’s eye, but only just. It was a time when hour-long page downloads were barely even irritating; a time of getting lost in the cul-de-sacs of Geocities; and a time when the line, “It’s a UNIX system! I know this!” in Jurassic Park didn’t necessarily provoke a groan from the audience.
It was also the time when the appreciation of marginal cinema came into its own. B-movie websites sprang up like mushrooms; but it was not long before a handful of them separated themselves from the pack.
These webmasters and their works, the depth and breadth of their knowledge, their unabashed obsessiveness and perhaps above all their sense of humour would set a glorious example to those who would aspire to follow in their footsteps: Alan Gallauresi and Rob Trevino of Oh, The Humanity; Scott Hamilton and Christopher Holland of Stomp Tokyo; Kenneth Richard Begg of Jabootu’s Bad Movie Dimension (which started life as Ken’s World Of Awful Movies); and Freeman Williams, aka Dr Freex, of The Bad Movie Report.
In those days, giants walked the earth.
And even as the experts were decrying the “de-socialisation” supposedly caused by the internet, lovers of weird and wonderful movies were making new friends and enjoying an unprecedented sense of community. Inspired by the examples before them, others would found their own B-movie websites and bring their own peculiar perspectives to the reviewing table. It was not long before these webmasters, scattered all over the world, were corresponding by e-mail, coming together in an unofficial kind of mutual admiration society.
And then one day, one of them had an idea: suppose they came officially together? Why not hold a Roundtable, in which each of the participating sites reviewed the same movie? After some back-and-forthing, seven websites agreed to tackle the 1957 schlock masterpiece, The Brain From Planet Arous.
It was November, 1999. The event was dubbed BRAINATHON ’99. It was the birth of the B-Masters’ Cabal…
FLASHFORWARD—-
It is now November, 2009: our 10-year anniversary; and to celebrate, our member websites have again come together to wreak terrible vengeance upon a single, unfortunate movie. And not only is the occasion marked by the rare – unique? – participation of every single member site, but we have also succeeded in luring back to the fold the man whose suggestion started it all, way back in 1999: Andrew Borntreger of Badmovies.org. This time, the film in question is William Grefé’s drive-in non-classic, Sting Of Death.
Welcome, one and all, to STINGATHON ’09!!
Click the banner to do the jilla-jalla-jellyfish with the B-Masters’ Cabal!
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The fourth issue of Arkham Tales, the PDF magazine of weird fiction, is now available for FREE download. Just click here to have all of your nightmares come true.
Also please take a moment to answer the poll found here and help determine the future of Arkham Tales.
You know him and love him as a frequent commenter here on the B-Masters blog; now you can see Blake Matthews’ kung fu movie review site, It’s a Beautiful Film Worth Fighting For, in its new home at ColdFusionVideo.com.
Mea maxima culpa
Jul 31
Confession may be good for the soul, but it can be bad for the public image. While our loyal readers may think of us as the font of all b-movie knowledge – no, no! don’t bother to pretend! – the fact is that sometimes we’re just…well, winging it. But no more! For our next Roundtable, we B-Masters will be risking our reputations, baring our souls, and publically ‘fessing up to some of the more embarrassing gaps in our resumes.
Poe, you are reviewed!
Jul 27
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For the latest installment of That Was Then, This Is Now, Chad Denton, Zack Handlen and myself try something a little different, examing how film-makers from three distinct eras in the history of cinema went about the problem of bringing to the screen that most idiosyncratic of writers, Edgar Allan Poe.
We also discuss Poe’s writing generally, look at how well (or not) our films reflect their sources, and have a chat about cinema’s apparently irrestible urge to turn Poe into one of his own fictions.
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Edgar Allen Poe (1909) at And You Call Yourself A Scientist!
The Avenging Conscience (1914) at And You Call Yourself A Scientist!
The Raven (1915) at And You Call Yourself A Scientist!
The Premature Burial (1962) at The Good, The Bad, The Ugly
The Black Cat (2007) at The Duck Speaks
And The Conversation
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Bootleg beef!
Jul 22
In Tough Assignment (1949), a news reporter and his photographer wife go undercover to get the story on a cattle rustling ring that’s been strong-arming the local butchers to buy their bootleg beef.
No, seriously, that’s the premise.
And in unrelated matters, please see this blog post: What should I do with ZombieMart?
Apparently John Wayne shot some scenes for a movie prior to his death in 1979, which is finally going to receive a DVD release.
“If science fiction western seems like an unusual genre, that’s because it is. Thunder Riders of the Golden West, is a movie set in modern times and tells the story of cowboy truckers who hit the trail in search of $3 million worth of gold in the middle of an atomic bomb test.”
Seriously, those morons can’t do anything interesting with this plethora of riches?
Ant mega-colony takes over world.
Jabootu correspondent Eric Belzer sends this important update
And just in time for the SyFy Network to rip off a major upcoming movie