The B-Masters Cabal » Greywizard

And now for something completely different

Greywizard — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 15:36:43 +0000

Okay, enough is enough! Yeah, I know you have been coming to b-masters.com on a regular basis to laugh and chuckle over reviews of various B-movies, but it’s time you were exposed to something different. It’s time you experienced some ART. So here’s a review of the first filmed version of the 1972 Pulitzer Prize-winning off-Broadway play That Championship Season. Before you protest and shield your eyes, I compromised in my choosing of an art movie to educate you. While it may be an art movie, it was produced by schlockmeisters Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus of Cannon Films. Feel better now?

Somewhere along the way, the filmmakers choked

Greywizard — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 15:40:45 +0000

What do you think when you come across the word “scientist”, besides good ol’ Liz? Well, you probably don’t think of the kind of scientist found in the movie Choke Canyon, who comes across as a kind of modern day Indiana Jones. But these particular filmmakers seem clueless as to how to pull off this unusual scientist character successfully, among other things, and end up with a movie that’s both illogical and boring.

It’s the end of the world as we know it

Greywizard — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 15:42:15 +0000

With some people saying that 2012 will be the final year of mankind because of what the Mayan calendar says, what could be better than to encourage building panic by starting off the year with a movie about the end of the world? In This Is Not A Test, several strangers gathered together in the desert find out their country is about to be struck by a nuclear attack. What should they do? What would you do?

Out of whack

Greywizard — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 15:39:16 +0000

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale / A tale of a cinematic slip…

The movie The Wackiest Wagon Train In The West is about a wagon train headed by a seasoned older gentleman who has a bumbling and dim-witted sidekick played by Bob Denver. The other people in the wagon train consist of a rich couple of good breeding, two sexy young women, and a young man who knows the latest in the field of science. Sounds familiar?

A movie that shows off its Iron-side

Greywizard — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 15:43:08 +0000

There have been some great combinations concocted over the years, like when H. B. Reese got the idea to blend peanut butter with chocolate. The movie Forced To Kill boasts its own successful mix, adding actor Michael Ironside to PM Entertainment. Like a peanut butter cup, the results are pretty tasty.

King Klunk

Greywizard — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 15:39:07 +0000

Hey! Let’s remake King Kong! Only this time we’ll aim it completely towards kids, taking out all of the intense stuff so the movie will get a “G” rating! Since we don’t have much money, we will have it animated as close to Saturday morning style as we can! Plus, we’ll add songs and make it a musical! And we’ll call it The Mighty Kong!

Oh, how the mighty have fallen – and I’m not talking about what happens to Kong in the climax.

The Fonz does Dickens

Greywizard — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 15:35:10 +0000

Henry Winkler stars in An American Christmas Carol, an American/Canadian co-production retelling the classic Charles Dickens novella A Christmas Carol, with the setting this time being Depression-era America. While the time and place may have changed, the end results still respect their source of origin.

Leonard Part One?

Greywizard — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 14:44:08 +0000

In Top Secret, when the world is threatened by nuclear terrorists, The Powers That Be know that the super spy to put on the case is… Bill Cosby? That’s just one reason why the movie is as exciting as a slowly melting pudding pop.

Use T Force

Greywizard — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 14:38:32 +0000

Take a dash of Universal Soldier, add a few tablespoons of Blade Runner, and several cups of The Terminator, and you get T-Force, a derivative but fun exercise that delivers the minimum requirements you have for a B movie of this nature.

I call his Bluth

Greywizard — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 14:46:37 +0000

In the 1980s, animation director Don Bluth seemed to be becoming a serious rival to Disney, with movies like An American Tail and The Land Before Time. But after those two movies, Bluth slowly descended into making movies that were mediocre in quality and box office grosses. A Troll In Central Park may have been his lowest point, because the American distributor lacked so much confidence in it that the movie received almost no theatrical release. Was this decision justified or not? Read on.