In which author Wilbur Gray (played by BAFTA-winning actor Peter Cushing) tries to convince publisher Frank Richards (played by Academy Award-winning actor Ray Milland) of the Terrible Secret about the world that his research has uncovered—that far from being harmless domestic pets, cats are a force for evil, capable of controlling and manipulating the human race.
To paraphrase Basil Fawlty—
Name – Wilbur Gray of Montreal. Special subject – The Bleeding Obvious.
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.
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Liz Kingsley is the insane genius behind And You Call Yourself a Scientist!
#1 by RogerBW on February 18th, 2012
I think that the key difference in premise terms between this and Into Your Tent I’ll Creep is that the latter generates some surprise: dogs running the world? Obviously ridiculous. Whereas anyone who’s been around cats…
I am told that it’s quite usual for dead cat-owners who aren’t found for a few hours to have been substantially nibbled on.
The stories could be interpreted as “cats are threatened, and strike back” – the first one in particular can’t be revenge for the murder, because the murder is precipitated by their own actions in trying to prevent the will being taken. So there’s in-story evidence for cats being a lot smarter than they’re given credit for. But there’s very little sign of the larger claim, that they’re running humanity in general. Still, it’s not the maddest conspiracy theory I’ve heard…
I think the tone shifts are the biggest problem. With a different framing story, the segments could have been used to support the idea of cats as avenging angels. As it is, with the cats being painted as evil and everyone else behaving as evil, we end up with nobody to cheer for except poor Peter Cushing.
#2 by Braineater on February 18th, 2012
Why should they be any different from the live ones?
And I wouldn’t mind being nommed upon. I’d once suggested my ashes be mingled with the cats’ wet food, but my wife pointed out that the ash content of wet food is already high enough.
#3 by Alaric on February 18th, 2012
The way I see it, cats do in fact have opposable thumbs; those thumbs simply aren’t physically attached to the cats. (Although, one of my cats does know how to turn doorknobs to open doors without my assistance.)
It sounds like that third story (especially its end) may be vaguely based on Bram Stoker’s short story, “The Squaw”, although in the latter the kitten-killing was accidental, and the cat wasn’t in any way implied to be “ee-vil”.
#4 by EGM3 on February 18th, 2012
I once had a ginger cat and it was female.
#5 by Jen S on February 18th, 2012
Effin’ knew it. My two moggies certainly run our household.
But who could resist that georgous white Persian? Oh, you are so soft! You are so lovely! Oo looks wike a widdle Jabba the Hut but all furry, yes you doooo! Smoochie kisses!
#6 by lyzard on February 18th, 2012
Oo looks wike a widdle Jabba the Hut but all furry, yes you doooo! Smoochie kisses!
I agree with the last speaker!
EGM3 – You can get ginger females, but it’s rare enough to make this a counterintuitive bit of casting. (More proof, if we needed it, that this film wasn’t made by “cat people”.)
Alaric – The third story is ripping off both The Squaw and Catnip. I’m very impressed that you had one that could do doorknobs! I’ve seen plenty that could do grip-handles, but not that.
Roger – The film is so confused, it’s exasperating. Didn’t anyone realise that the text and the action are contradictory? And worst of all, given that he’s on the side of Evil (i.e. Good), I can’t sympathise with Peter Cushing!
The cats don’t take action until after the murder of Miss Malkin. You could interpret this as them needing Janet to get the will out of the safe for them first (you know – thumbs) – which, honestly, should have been Gray’s line of argument – cats using humans to secure their inheritance, not just avenging their owner, which isn’t that hard to believe.
Here I am, doing a screenwriter’s job for him again!
Oh, you’re told are you? Who by? Dog owners? Like you can believe a word they say!
Given the way my own little darling turns up her nose at anything less than premium, I can’t imagine that I’m in much danger of post-mortem nibbling…though of course, I’d much rather she did that than starve.
#7 by JessicaR on February 19th, 2012
The best part of reading this review was that my cat Ella jumped up in my lap and began to purr contentedly as I scrolled down. Methinks she might be trying to tell me something, but I’m not sure what.
#8 by Alaric on February 19th, 2012
Heh. My cat did the same thing.
#9 by lyzard on February 19th, 2012
It’s their way of saying, “You will be spared when the revolution comes.”
#10 by Ken on February 20th, 2012
Yeah, keep telling yourself that.
#11 by lyzard on February 20th, 2012
You, on the other hand…
#12 by Read MacGuirtose on February 19th, 2012
My brother has a murderous hatred of cats, for reasons I have never really been able to fathom.
Granted that neither he nor I had appreciable direct experience with cats growing up (my family always had dogs), still even in absentia I always sort of had a fondness for cats for some reason. Then I had several cat-owning roommates in a row and did get some first-hand experience with them, and I’ve really developed an affection for cats. Even if they do tend to choose the most inopportune moment possible to decide that one’s lap is in desperate need of their presence.
(Also, I have now developed a better appreciation for that bit from the old Warner Brothers cartoon with the tiny cat that kneads its claws into the dog’s back, and the dog, while in obvious pain, sits there wincing and takes it until the cat finally settles down. (You know… this one.) Until being around my last roommate’s cat, I had not realized just how much that bit was modeled on actual cat behavior. It didn’t help that I don’t think my roommate ever trimmed his cat’s claws…)
#13 by Read MacGuirtose on February 19th, 2012
(Ah… perhaps it’s worth mentioning that said roommate–the one with the knead-happy cat–is (was?) the actor who played Jimmy in Amityville Dollhouse.)
#14 by lyzard on February 19th, 2012
You tell the best stories.
With the Warners cartoons, there are only varying degrees of brilliance; but that one is so well-observed… And we do! We just sit there and let them do it.
“Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Awww…”
That murderous hatred is the reason I feel compelled to put cats in a category with sharks and snakes and spiders, as animals requiring special protection.
#15 by The Rev. on February 20th, 2012
I went the other way: we had dogs and cats growing up, and my beloved Patches would ignore the rest of the family and plant herself in my lap or on the back of my legs and knead herself a little nest, with me taking it, and then refusing to move unless I absolutely had to, regardless of how uncomfortable I might get. Then I saw that cartoon and…well, as Chief Wiggum once said, “It’s funny ’cause it’s true.”
Our older cat now just likes to flop in people’s laps and wait for the head scritchies to begin. The younger one will sometimes do a little kneading, but he tends to either knead something nearby while you pet him, or knead the air while in your lap.
#16 by lyzard on February 20th, 2012
“Oh, ow…there’s claws caught in my leg!…and my arms’s asleep…and I really need a bathroom break…well, maybe just another twenty minutes…”
#17 by The Rev. on February 21st, 2012
Exactly!
I dunno about the other cats I’ve had in my life, but that one certainly owned me.
#18 by ronald on February 21st, 2012
Hi. This has nothing to do with anything, but through a combination of random IMDB/Amazon.com browsing I came across the film “The Pet” (2006). My morbid curiosity kicked in and I looked around a bit further but I can’t find any info on how the film ENDED (and actually *purchasing* the DVD to find out seemed like going a little too far). Did she stay with the guy? Did she get the money and leave? Did she die?
It seems probable that someone around here is more familiar with the film than I am, so, anyone? Anything? Bueller? Thanks much.
#19 by Blake on February 21st, 2012
Random story: My cousins once had a cat named Cuddles, who also went by the nicknames “Ninja Kitty” and (occasionally) “B****.” My uncle said that once Cuddles decided to make his folded arms into her bed, so he indulged her. At some point, he made a slight movement with his arm, prompting her to hack and scratch the hell out of it. A few weeks later, after his arm had healed, he came across her in the hallway and gave her *cough* nice punt. She avoided him for weeks.
#20 by Naomi on February 22nd, 2012
That strikes me as more horrific than random.
#21 by lyzard on February 22nd, 2012
It’s a good illustration of the way some people feel entitled to treat cats…which is pretty much my point.
#22 by PB210 on February 21st, 2012
Now that is eee-vil!
[You may decide for yourselves whether I mean her taste in reading, her wardrobe, or her decor.]
Kind of odd that the showed her with an issue of the Flash. After, all, if they wanted to tie-in with the cat theme of the film, they could have dug out Catwoman. (The Flash does not normally clash with Catwoman.)
#23 by El Santo on February 22nd, 2012
Were they publishing a Catwoman comic in 1977? I thought that was a 90′s thing.
#24 by Blake on February 22nd, 2012
I have a hard time knowing when a particular comment/observation of mine is appropriate for the discussion, so I often preface my remarks with “Random” as a heads-up.
#25 by ronald on February 22nd, 2012
Nope, no Catwoman title in the 1970s.
(There was a short-lived Joker title, but that’s sort of beside the point.)
#26 by PB210 on February 22nd, 2012
Were they publishing a Catwoman comic in 1977? I thought that was a 90′s thing.
…………Surely they could have dug out an issue with Catwoman on the cover.
#27 by ronald on February 23rd, 2012
>>>they could have dug out an issue with Catwoman on the cover
Well, makers of b-movies COULD do a lot of things. The fact that they DON’T do them is usually what qualifies their products as b-movies to begin with.
#28 by ronald on February 23rd, 2012
Odd sort of juxtaposition here, but something reminded me of something else.
>>>can’t make up its mind whether cats are a force of retribution sent to punish evil humans, or whether they themselves are evil, and something that human beings must guard themselves again
“Did you ever notice how in the Bible, whenever God needed to punish someone…or whenever God needed a killing…he sent an angel…?”
“I’m an angel. I kill firstborns while their mamas watch. I turn cities into salt. I even, when I feel like it, rip the souls from little girls, and from now till kingdom come, the only thing you can count on in your existence is never understanding why…”
– “The Prophecy” (1995)
#29 by ronald on February 23rd, 2012
So, uh, sometimes that which seems evil can punish that which is ALSO evil, was my point, I guess. I see now that that I didn’t quite convey that before. Sorry about that.
#30 by Jen S on February 23rd, 2012
Back to the kitties…
Most cats aren’t that big. I mean, unless you raise pumas or something, even the biggest housecat is about 15 pounds max.
So how is it that when they come to lie on the bed where you are trying to get a well earned rest, they somehow spread out, out, out, until your legs are pinned between them, and they have aquired enough mass to hold the blankets across said legs until you start to get tingling and bruising? And when you’ve had enough, by God, this is YOUR bed, and you are going to SHIFT YOUR LEGS, they leap up, land directly on your bladder, then move up and drive the whole of that mysteriously aquired mass into your sternum by balancing, apparently, on one foot, as they stare at you with round, round eyes and begin to purr and drool?
How do they do that? How?
#31 by lyzard on February 23rd, 2012
Yet again I agree with the last speaker…only mine has a talent for hitting exactly the spot on my chest I’d rather she didn’t.
That weight on one paw? It feels like a fricking stiletto.
#32 by Cabal on February 24th, 2012
In our house, we refer to that one-paw body-mass concentration as “kitty chi”. Applied to the correct pressure point, it can kill, incapacitate, or really make one need to use the nearest toilet.
The younger of our two cats also uses it to great effect on our gigantic shaggy dog, on those occasions where he gets it into his head that she *will* be his friend, darnit, and invades her personal space (he finds her interesting, and wants her to play; she finds him appalling, and wants him to p*ss the heck off). A simple light tap on the nose – no claws, no hissing – and he goes quiet and passive. It’s like a meditative version of the Dim Mak Touch.
#33 by The Rev. on February 26th, 2012
Our older cat does the Five Point Paw Exploding Heart Technique all the damn time. I had assumed it’s because he’s, no joke, the klutziest damn cat in the history of the planet.
Now I’m starting to wonder if he isn’t some sort of Drunken Claw master and just uses us as dummy bags to practice on. That would mean his apparent lack of brains is a clever ploy, or perhaps mere drunkenness.
I actually like that idea a lot better than his just being clumsy and stupid.
#34 by Barbara on March 28th, 2012
Just wanted, belatedly, to note that there’s an old B-Notes review of The Uncanny here:
http://jabootu.com/acolytes/bnotes/uncanny.htm
in case anyone wanted to add the link to lyz’s review.