Know how to make your DVD cover sucky? Really, really sucky? Sucky beyond all previous conceptions of suckiness?
That’s right. Fill the front of the DVD cover with text in the worst font known to man. It’s a comicsansapalooza!
(If you want a closer view of the madness, you can use the zoom feature on the Amazon listing here.)
Nathan Shumate is the proprietor of Cold Fusion Video Reviews and the publisher of Cold Fusion Media.
#1 by Naomi on July 28th, 2010
I wonder if “Bill Zebub” is any better as a director/writer/cinematographer/editor/actor/producer/camera operator/self-published metal magazine editor than as a DVD cover designer.
#2 by Read MacGuirtose on July 28th, 2010
Not only is it in Comic Sans, but it looks like the spacing was significantly condensed, making it look even worse and harder to read. But I guess it was worth it to fit all those glowing endorsements on the front of the DVD cover, so good they couldn’t just relegate them to the back of the cover where that sort of thing usually goes. But hey, this is the SPECIAL EDITION (a fact so important it warranted a different, albeit equally inappropriate, font). It deserves nothing less.
I also find it amusing that it got 5 stars from “sleazeANDhorror.com”. That seems like an odd choice of words to capitalize. Is the AND emphasized to distinguish it from “sleazeORhorror.com” and “sleazeBUThorror.com”?
Ah, so many ridiculous details to observe… truly, this is a possibly unparalleled gem of bad DVD covers. The choice of Comic Sans is the least of its issues. I think you may even have surpassed the first Gives Me Chills with this one.
#3 by Mr. Rational on July 31st, 2010
I don’t know, Reid. The first one was pretty special. Hilariously low-quality images, looking like it was either Photoshopped together or posed in someone’s basement, the theft of a great line from “A Few Good Men” as the tag…I don’t think anything can ever top that one. But this is bad too.
#4 by Read MacGuirtose on July 31st, 2010
Well, in my opinion,. the first was certainly (unintentionally) funnier, but this one is worse, in the sense that it does an even worse job of selling the product. If I was for some reason forced to buy either Grave Danger or Catherine’s Pain, based solely on the DVD covers, I’d go with Grave Danger, no hesitation. (Though admittedly part of that is that the subject matter of Catherine’s Pain… really doesn’t sound like my thing. Well, neither does that of Grave Danger, exactly, but this even less so.) They’re both stunningly unprofessional, but I’ll still take a goofy styrofoam gravestone and a ventriloquist dummy staring at nothing in particular over a nonplussed-looking woman overlaid with a huge wall of ugly text.
More amusing, Grave Danger, definitely. But I still maintain my opinion that this one is worse.
#5 by Mr. Rational on July 31st, 2010
Touche. Well-argued.
#6 by Mr. Rational on July 29th, 2010
“Bill Zebub”? Seriously? Was the screenplay written by “Lou Siefer”?
And now I want to go punch something.
#7 by The Rev. D.D. on July 29th, 2010
Based on a story by “B. Lyle,” no doubt.
#8 by Mr. Rational on July 29th, 2010
Aw, NUTS! I spend ten minutes trying to think of a good Belial pun to work in there and complete the Unholy Trinity of References, and then when I come back, it’s already been taken! Though to be fair, I was going to write “Bea Lyle.”
Ah, well. One pun per poster, I guess, spreads the fun for everyone.
#9 by Read MacGuirtose on July 29th, 2010
Oh, there are still more puns out there to be made. I just thought of a (somewhat obscure) pun I could use, but I’m afraid it’s kind of A Bad ‘Un.
#10 by DamonD on July 30th, 2010
Catherine, if that is she, looks remarkably pain-free there too.
#11 by Read MacGuirtose on July 30th, 2010
Yeah, I’d considered commenting on that… actually had the comment partly written… but I figured I’d probably gone on in my first comment more than long enough already. But yeah, she looks less as if she’s in pain than as if she’s just noticed something mildly interesting about her fingernails.
#12 by Bryan on July 31st, 2010
Bill Zebub- wow, he’s made some bad, bad movies. Yeah, this cover is about his skill level.