…and this is what I have to show for my attendance:
The Crippled Masters (1979), in which the Masters really are Crippled…
Gymkata (1985), in which an international gymnastics champion proves only slightly more convincing as a martial artist than a guy with no arms…
Heartbeeps (1981), in which Andy Kaufman is no funnier as a robot than he was as a carbon-based lifeform…
The Room (2003), or, How Vain Was My Vanity Project…
Troll 2 (1990), in which Claudio Fragasso shows the world that Troll wasn’t really so bad after all…
and…
War of the Robots (1978), in which (much as I hate to disagree with Keith) Yanti Somer’s adorable crewcut simply is not enough…
El Santo rules the wasteland-- and also 1000 Misspent Hours and Counting.
#1 by Blake on February 17th, 2010
Chan Muk-Chuen, who was one of the supporting characters, was also the film’s fight choreographer, and worked on a number of the films you mentioned in the players’ filmographies, like “Guy with Secret Kung Fu” and “Iron Monkey.” The two leads appeared in a movie called “Raiders of Wu Tang” (aka Raiders of Shaolin Temple), which posits the idea that to leave the Shaolin Temple, you had to do battle with a bunch of mechanical horses. Glad to see a couple of martial arts movies reviewed!
#2 by DamonD on February 17th, 2010
“…there is nothing sexy about being able to see the ratcheting action of muscle fibers, believe me!”
Killer line.
#3 by The Rev. D.D. on February 17th, 2010
I see the midnight movie here this week is The Room. Which is crazy because they just showed it about a month or so ago.
I’m starting to suspect I really need to see this thing…
#4 by Blake on February 17th, 2010
El Santo: What did you think of the ending of “Troll 2″ (I asked the Nate the same thing)?
#5 by El Santo on February 17th, 2010
“What did you think of the ending of Troll 2?″
Initially, I thought it very odd to see a 70′s-style downer ending like that show up in a movie from 1990 that was plainly aimed at kids. Once I thought more about it, though, I decided that was considerably less odd than the inclusion of an RV full of sex-addled college-boy hooligans, one of whom meets his end in the midst of a PG-rated sex scene.
#6 by Jen S on February 17th, 2010
A freind of ours insisted that we needed to see The Room but I refused until she brought over the Rifftraxed version. Hearing Bill Corbett screeching “I! HAVE! CANCER!” in his Crow voice made the ordeal worthwhile, but only just.
#7 by Read MacGuirtose on February 17th, 2010
I lived a few blocks from the billboard The Room all the time it was up. I did think it was odd that a billboard for what was apparently an independent movie with a very limited release would be around that long, but it never really caught my interest. For one thing, there was really nothing about the title or the picture of an odd droopy-eyed face that gave me much desire to see the movie; for another… well, there’s enough other weird stuff going on at any given moment within a few blocks of Hollywood and Highland that a billboard like that isn’t likely to be the center of attention. So I didn’t know anything about the movie till last year I ran across some mention of it on the web and thought, “Huh, so that’s what that billboard was about.”
#8 by Read MacGuirtose on February 17th, 2010
(Er… I accidentally left out a preposition in the first sentence of my post there, but… you probably figured that out.)
#9 by Joshua on February 17th, 2010
Seth knows the secret to defeating the goblins once and for all, and he makes a mean Molotov cocktail.
Wait, so Molotov cocktails aren’t the secret to defeating goblins?
#10 by Camassia on February 18th, 2010
I dimly remember seeing Heartbeeps when it came out, and that I kind of liked it. But then, I was ten years old. It’s funny, I also have no memory whatever of Catskill or Phil, even now that you’ve described them. I guess at that age I was good at ignoring the annoying parts of movies. (Like when I saw the Star Wars trilogy on its re-release, and thought, “I don’t remember there being this much C3PO!”)
#11 by El Santo on February 18th, 2010
“Wait, so Molotov cocktails aren’t the secret to defeating goblins?”
They are not, amazingly enough. Indeed, even baloney sandwiches are good for only a temporary respite from goblin attack.
#12 by The Mud Puppy on February 18th, 2010
One thing that floored me about that seduction scene in Troll 2 is the “sexy” music accompanying the younger version of the Goblin Queen sounded identical to “You Can Leave Your Hat On”. I even quipped, “No, no, this is ‘You Can Leave Your Cap On’. Totally different!”
Alas, either nobody around me heard it or it just wasn’t very funny. Probably both.
#13 by Blake on February 18th, 2010
El Santo, did you ever notice that most of the few (pure) martial arts films that you’ve reviewed are directed by Robert Clouse? That’s enough to make a hardcore martial arts movie fan have a stroke. hehehe
#14 by Christian Brimo on February 18th, 2010
The Room’s cult has spread to Sydney, Australia. Not sure if its the worst film ever but the enthusiasm of the audience was awesome. Wiseau just seems like such a sad guy though…
#15 by DamonD on February 19th, 2010
El Santo, have you ever thought of reviewing the Poltergeist trilogy?
They’ve just oddly been in my mind at the moment, and I like the way you tackle sequels, breaking down what they do right or (sadly more often) wrong. I took the opportunity to watch all three over a couple nights and it was an interesting experience.
#16 by El Santo on February 19th, 2010
“El Santo, have you ever thought of reviewing the Poltergeist trilogy?”
By my last count, I have 39 open franchises (by which I mean movie series with three or more entries, of which I’ve reviewed at least one). Poltergeist is indeed among them, and although I have no immediate plans to tackle either of the sequels, you never know when I might turn on the TV and discover that Encore Mystery is running Poltergeist II in half an hour.
#17 by El Santo on February 19th, 2010
That should have been “of which I’ve reviewed at least one, but not all.” We really need to get an “edit post” feature around here.
#18 by lyzard on February 20th, 2010
Pssst… There is one: point your cursor to the top right-hand corner of your post and see what you can see…
#19 by DamonD on February 21st, 2010
Righto, cheers for that.
#20 by El Santo on February 21st, 2010
“Pssst… There is one: point your cursor to the top right-hand corner of your post and see what you can see…”
I think you and I must be using different browsers. On IE 8 (which I use at home), doing that gets me “reply” and “quote” options, but no “edit.” On IE 7 (which I use at work), doing that yields no pop-up buttons at all.