Again, from trolling through the new release DVDs at Amazon.com, I think I’ve found the least effective horror DVD cover design of all time.
Here’s the description of Grave Danger:
Beautiful and perky Becky is home alone one dark night watching horror movies on TV when she becomes the victim of a madman terrorizing her with frightening phone calls. Soon, Becky is embroiled in a deadly game of one-upmanship as she and the caller trade titillating and terrifying tales of voodoo-possessed housewives, deadly ventriloquist dummies and omni-present watchers.
Cathy St. George (PLAYBOY VIDEO PLAYMATE REVIEW 2), Vic Martino (THE SOPRANOS) and Kaye Bramblett (SQUEEZE PLAY) star in a chilling, sexy and darkly comic anthology from underground horror maven Jim Haggerty (I DREAM OF DRACULA, THE SLASHER)!
And here’s the cover:
Ooh. Goosebumps.
#1 by El Santo on September 23, 2009 - 10:18 am
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Now that’s just sad. It looks like a 30-year-old how-to book on ventriloquism for the elementary school set.
#2 by Mystok on September 23, 2009 - 10:58 am
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The dummy! It is looking right at… uhm past me!
Ventriloquist dummy movies give me the shivies, but this box cover make me feel sorry for the dummy. I guess all of the profanity, violence, and nudity was by the dummy trying to get out of the cover shoot.
#3 by Read MacGuirtose on September 23, 2009 - 11:05 am
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No, see, the horror isn’t supposed to come just from the dummy. It’s the juxtaposition of the dummy with the terrifying styrofoam gravestone! Aaaaah!
(Actually, it took me a second to realize what was wrong with the gravestone and why it looked so tacky, but I think I figured it out—it’s the utter blankness of it aside from the lettering, which goes awkwardly almost to the gravestone’s edge. If the gravestone had a little more decoration and texture to it, a raised border, maybe some “carvings” up top… well, okay, it would still be a really bad DVD cover, but it wouldn’t be quite as bad… Also, the flat, phony green and blue background (with the absurdly low “horizon”) isn’t helping any.)
#4 by Jen S on September 23, 2009 - 11:39 am
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Wow, pulled this one out of the “not even trying” file, huh?
#5 by Chris S. on September 23, 2009 - 11:47 am
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Let’s see … according to IMDB, Yellow Ape Productions has a few other credits, namely Is This a Joke?, From the Inside, and Witchmaster General. Like Grave Danger, they all have ’09 release dates. And, oh look, all of them have been written and directed by Jim Haggerty. Haggerty’s other credits consist almost entirely of his work on The Slasher (2000) and the delightfully titled I Dream of Dracula (2003). And by “work on” I don’t just mean writer and director, but also producer, editor, cinematographer, sound department, and casting department.
Truly, we are looking at the very definition of an auteur.
#6 by Onion on September 23, 2009 - 2:40 pm
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…what?? I could cobble together a better poster out of a random collage of public domain images! And it doesn’t help that the movie sounds terrible to begin with.
#7 by David lee Ingersoll on September 23, 2009 - 5:00 pm
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That’s just sad.
#8 by The Rev. D.D. on September 23, 2009 - 8:56 pm
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……………………….I honestly don’t have the words. I mean, how do you even react to something like that? Pity? Scorn? Utter astonishment? Violent vomiting?
I honestly feel like a deer in the headlights, looking at that cover and trying to process what I’m seeing.
#9 by KeithA on September 24, 2009 - 11:23 am
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I don’t understand you people. If i saw this in a video store, I’d buy it without a second’s hesitation.
#10 by El Santo on September 25, 2009 - 7:01 am
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“I don’t understand you people. If i saw this in a video store, I’d buy it without a second’s hesitation.”
Yes, I’m sure you would, but how many Todd Sheets movies do you own?
#11 by KeithA on September 25, 2009 - 10:27 am
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Lalalalalala…I can’t hear you Santo. Lalalalala. I’m too busy watching Zombie Bloodbath to hear you!
#12 by Rel on September 25, 2009 - 7:15 pm
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See, that’s what I respect about Mr. Allison. He has standards.
#13 by DamonD on September 28, 2009 - 4:26 am
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Well, it’s certainly pretty terrifying from a certain point of view.
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