Hey, looks what’s out at Amazon.com today!
Who wants to be the first to throw themselves on this particular eldritch grenade and return to tell us the tale?
Nathan Shumate is the proprietor of Cold Fusion Video Reviews and the author of The Golden Age of Crap.
#1 by Cabal on March 31st, 2009
Tori Spelling? Methinks that the Elder Gods themselves wouldn’t be able to blast my sanity any more thoroughly…
#2 by Cullen on March 31st, 2009
I’m with Cabal. I’m perfectly happy to witness most unspeakable horrors, but Spelling… nah.
(Who am I kidding? If I can see it for free, I’m watching it.)
‘Course, it could be worse. They could have gotten Paris Hilton.
#3 by David lee Ingersoll on March 31st, 2009
I saw this at the HP Lovecraft Film Festival back in 2007. The current DVD cut is apparently shorter than the version I saw then. I thought it had some good, creepy sequences. It’s the only thing I’ve ever seen Tori Spelling in so I can’t say whether she was better or worse than normal here.
#4 by Anarquistador on March 31st, 2009
…I’ll do it.
#5 by Nathan Shumate on March 31st, 2009
All hail the Anarquistador!
#6 by Anarquistador on March 31st, 2009
I fear nothing. Not even Tori Spelling.
In fact…I kinda like her…
#7 by Baron Scarpia on April 2nd, 2009
You know, I’m sort of disappointed. You’d have thought the B-Masters and their massed fans would be crying out with a single voice ‘I want it!’ but no.
(So, do I want it? I’m busy with exams, Fulci films and bad, bad, bad British TV series at the moment.)
#8 by El Santo on April 2nd, 2009
I, for one, am making a policy of not wanting anything more in the way of audiovisual entertainment until I dig a little closer to the bottom of my existing unwatched movies pile.
#9 by Jen S on April 2nd, 2009
Hi, long long long time reader, first time commenter here–because this was shot in my hometown of Seattle, and I know Jason Cottle, a very fine actor. It probably won’t be as blood freezingly horrific as one might think–although for Lovecraft, that might not be a good thing.
#10 by Mischief Maker on April 5th, 2009
Well I picked up a copy and watched it and here is my spoiler-laden mini-review:
It’s actually based on Shadows over Innsmouth, just using the names Cthulhu and Dagon interchangeably.
The premise is that an openly gay history professor learns that his mother has died and named him executor of her estate, so he drives back to a small coastal town he had long ago tried to cut all ties with, including his father, who is the reverend of a very strange congregation.
I like the twist that the Mythos in this flick is not some hidden congregation of deformed uneducated deviants operating outside the confines of decent society, but in fact ARE the forces of conformity in this sleepy insular town. Instead of being chased around by half-fish monsters the whole film, the protagonist is gently set upon by old friends and family who are very nice and understanding, in that very patronizing way people who homeschool their kids are nice to outsiders, trying to set him up with girls and asking him arch questions like, “wouldn’t you like to have children one day?” The delicious twist is exactly what KIND of children these nicely dressed people intend for him to have.
It has some good scares and creepy scenes, relying on glimpses, and things at a distance out of focus.
The one weak point of the movie is the protagonist rekindling his relationship with a closeted friend from high school. I just didn’t see the chemistry between the two.
I’d give it 3 and a half out of four stars.
#11 by Nathan Shumate on April 5th, 2009
The Deep Ones are — breeders!!!
#12 by Anarquistador on April 5th, 2009
Yeah, that was pretty much my assessment too.
Review will be up in the next couple of days. Oh the pain, the pain…
#13 by Anarquistador on April 6th, 2009
Review is up.
If anyone needs me, I’ll be in my room. With the lights off. Thinking about the decisions I’ve made in life.
#14 by Nathan Shumate on April 6th, 2009
Whereas I’m one of those who WOULD find getting seduced by Tori Spelling to be all that horrific.
(And DeCoteau reference for the win!)