The Orphan Defamation League is back in full force!
It’s that famous movie that recycles a thirty-year-old “son of Satan” plot to coincide with the date of 06/06/2006. That’s right, 666: The Child (2006), from the good people at The Asylum! …What, you were thinking of some other movie? Funny how often that happens with The Asylum productions.
“Go to the deepest part of the hell!” »
Comments
Comment from Matthew Fudge
Time: January 31, 2008, 5:55 am
I gotta say that ‘I am Omega’ is absolute genius as a title.
Comment from Nathan Shumate
Time: January 31, 2008, 7:30 am
Blake: I don’t know if any of the B-Masters have the mettle to undertake the ordeal necessary to find out.
Matthew: Ain’t that great? Especially since the new I Am Legend acknowledged that it was much a remake of Omega Man as an adaptation of the original novel.
Comment from Matthew Fudge
Time: January 31, 2008, 7:54 am
I can’t hate Asylum. Most of their stuff is awful and cynical and cheap, but I bet it makes Roger Corman jealous.
Comment from Blake Matthews
Time: January 31, 2008, 8:25 am
*whips out white glove and whacks Nathan in the face* I challenge you to watch one or two of those films and report back to us!
Comment from Nathan Shumate
Time: January 31, 2008, 9:15 am
I’ll just keep the glove, thanks.
Comment from Blake Matthews
Time: January 31, 2008, 9:42 am
You mean you can subject yourself to “Killers in the Woods” and “Bangers” and not these cartoons? The mind boggles.
Comment from Nathan Shumate
Time: January 31, 2008, 9:45 am
in my defense, I really didn’t understand what I was putting myself through when I started watching those.
Comment from Blake Matthews
Time: January 31, 2008, 10:02 am
If my VCR was working, I’d go out and rent one. I think my neighborhood mom n’ pops has the Goodtimes version of Mulan.
Comment from Nathan Shumate
Time: January 31, 2008, 10:15 am
Then report back, if you can.
Comment from Blake Matthews
Time: January 31, 2008, 10:22 am
We can all hope that my report won’t be, “lçajkdmljlljçajkjdjdl”, should be my soul be sucked out while watching. 
Comment from Nathan Shumate
Time: January 31, 2008, 10:27 am
Souls are overrated. High maintenance, for one thing.
Comment from Blake Matthews
Time: January 31, 2008, 10:28 am
If my soul were to be sucked out, I’d rather it be done by Cthulhu himself rather than some crappy, EP, Disney-knock-off.
Comment from Chad
Time: January 31, 2008, 11:14 am
Ah, Asylum…I actually do, more often than I admit, pick up their releases out of curiosity, but I might pass on this one. The only thing that got me through the “Omen” remake in the first place was David Thewlis and speculating on whether or not he was inebriated while filming certain scenes (curiously, it’s also what got me through The Island of Dr. Moreau).
Comment from KeithA
Time: February 1, 2008, 1:08 pm
My attraction to the weird looking but infinitely attractive (to me) Fairuza Balk combined with my “what the hell is Val Kilmer going to do now?” curiousity got me through Moreau, and on more than one occasion. And no matter how many times I see it, when Val Kilmer shows up dressed like Marlon Brando never fails to delight me. Truly Kilmer is one of the greatest actors of this or any generation.
But I still wouldn’t watch those Goodtimes cartoons. I haven’t even seen most of the Disney originals (I think the last Disney cartoon I saw was The Fox and the Hound).
Comment from KeithA
Time: February 1, 2008, 1:11 pm
I just want to say that there are many things you can do to make a child look evil. Damien in his little private school blazer and cap, staring innocently at the camera=creepy. 666: The Child child, standing with his arms behind his back while wearing a cardigan sweater=something decidedly less that creepy.
Comment from Blake Matthews
Time: February 1, 2008, 6:15 pm
Okay, Nathan…I went to my friend’s house today and, lo! and behold! He and his wife had recently received a large collection of cheap cartoons, among which was a Goodtimes knock-off cartoon. He let me have it and now I have it in my house to watch, ready to review. *begins to laugh maniacally but then changes to a whimper*
Comment from Nathan Shumate
Time: February 1, 2008, 11:08 pm
I think now would be a good time to delineate the implicit liability disclaimers associated with B-Masters.com or the participants herein: We are in no way responsible for mental, physical, social or spiritual trauma which may be caused in whole or in part through viewing any movie reviewed, recommended, mentioned, or alluded to on this site.
Comment from Blake Matthews
Time: February 2, 2008, 5:34 am
Does the same work in reverse for movies that your readers suggest? I’ve seen Ken express his desire to punch people for bad movies that were suggested to him.
Comment from Nathan Shumate
Time: February 2, 2008, 8:49 am
No, the Cabal will exact payment in blood and flesh for any wrong done to us. It’s a double standard that serves us well.
Comment from Blake
Time: February 2, 2008, 3:59 pm
So do you have the hides of any the microbudget filmmakers who have sent you screeners over the years over your fireplace?
Comment from Nathan Shumate
Time: February 2, 2008, 6:14 pm
That’s what my office chair is upholstered in.
Comment from Blake Matthews
Time: January 31, 2008, 3:58 am
All this Assylum talk makes me wonder: How close were the Goodtimes cartoons to the Disney cartoons they tried to imitate?