The Bad Movie Report: Video Violence
Dr. Freex has been called away to (literally!) play Van Helsing in a stage version of Dracula, but frequent contributor Howard Paul Burgess has stepped up to the remote to review those two 1980’s camcorder snuff epics, Video Violence and Video Violence 2. Says the Good Doctor: “Man… Better him than me!”
Freeman Williams is the almost-absentee landlord of The Bad Movie Report.« Tony Randall vs. Klaus Kinski
Comments
Comment from Nathan Shumate
Time: December 3, 2007, 10:54 am
But its second link doesn’t!
(There. Fixed.)
Comment from Matthew Fudge
Time: December 4, 2007, 8:00 am
You know, you assume these films are gone for good. In fact, you wonder if they ever existed in the first place, and then somebody releases them on DVD. What regrettable part of my childhood will next reappear in overly lavish editions? Motley Crue albums? God, probably already.
Comment from drfreex
Time: December 4, 2007, 8:43 am
You really shouldn’t ask questions to which you don’t want to know the answer…..
This caused me to check if The Video Dead or Gore-met Zombie Chef From Hell had been given DVD releases. The answer in both cases was no, for which I am properly thankful.
Comment from Nathan Shumate
Time: December 4, 2007, 9:41 am
The fact that I would gladly buy The Video Dead on DVD is one of those realizations that gives me serious pause.
Comment from El Santo
Time: December 4, 2007, 12:36 pm
Would you look at that… turns out at least ONE other person actually watched The Gore-met Zombie Chef from Hell…
Comment from lyzard
Time: December 4, 2007, 1:07 pm
And you found him *here*. What a shock.
Comment from John Doe
Time: December 4, 2007, 6:55 pm
careful lyzard, your eyes might roll out of their sockets.
Comment from Matthew Fudge
Time: December 5, 2007, 5:00 am
Just trust that somebody somewhere is right now blowing the dust off a box of video tape masters and sloppily transferring them to DVD so that the children of the 80’s can spend £10 to reassure themselves that yes, they really did see a film called ‘Doom Asylum’ and no it’s not a lost classic
Comment from KeithA
Time: December 5, 2007, 12:19 pm
I was in Frenchtown, New Jersey a few months ago to go tubing. I had no idea how full of macabre nightmares the place was.
I am finally nearing completion of the conversion of my VHS collection to DVD-R. Man alive, I can’t believe the stuff I own. Thinking about it almost gets me nostalgic for VHS, but then I just have to remember how many of those tapes had terrible tracking problems (I was so excited about converting Strike Commando, and then the tape becomes unplayable about halfway through — perhaps out of pity for me) or got eaten by malfunctioning VCRs or ruined during Hurricane Andrew, and that pretty much takes care of the format nostalgia for VHS. Maybe I should start graymarketing some of them. The world surely needs DVDs of Angel of Destruction and Angel Fist and other various Cirio Santiago productions featuring topless kungfu. Or Jungle Force and Panther Squad (or was that Panther Force and Jungle Squad), in which Sybil Danning leads armies of new wave chick mercenaries in high heel scrunchie boots on military operations.
I still have a stack of MGM/UA tapes that are copy protected. My stand-alone dvd recorder won’t record them. Seriously, who takes the time to copyguard Jungle Raiders starring Lee Van Cleef or Gor? FOR GOD’S SAKE, WHO TAKES THE TIME TO COPYGUARD THE ARCHER: FUGITIVE FROM THE EMPIRE???
If anyone wants to loan me a decoder so I can finish these final few titles off, let me know. Or Strike Commando. God, I love Strike Commando.
Comment from Blake Matthews
Time: December 5, 2007, 12:26 pm
It sounds you have a VHS collection that could double as a mom ‘n pop video store.
Comment from KeithA
Time: December 5, 2007, 1:29 pm
I bought much of it when the mom and pop places were closing down. Also, while it lasted, skinnyguy.com’s dollar bin was a place of great wonder.
Comment from Braineater
Time: December 5, 2007, 3:29 pm
Keith — I used to have a cheap video stabilizer I got from BestBuy that took care of the copy protection. At least it did, until the cats chewed through the power cable. No fried kitty, fortunately… but just like your copy of Strike Commando self-destructing, I think they did it as an act of mercy, knowing I would be too lazy to replace it.
Comment from Matthew Fudge
Time: December 6, 2007, 3:14 am
remember kids, just because you can watch Cannon action movies, doesn’t mean you should
Comment from KeithA
Time: December 2, 2007, 10:51 pm
It lives!