Bollywood Bond
Farz (1967)
“The terrorist organization consists of five guys — two of whom wear scarves even though their short sleeve shirts indicate that it’s not scarf season — who are constantly berated by a guy who, in a European film, would have been played by Timothy Dalton. The guy’s secret underground terrorist lair leaves a considerable amount to be desired, consisting as it does primarily of some cool Mario Bava-esque lighting and a folding card table with a rotary phone on it. Here’s a tip for all of you who aspire to be a henchman for some megalomaniacal would-be world conqueror. If, on the day of your interview, you get a tour of the secret underground lair and it is furnished entirely with folding card tables and rotary phones, pass on whatever offer you are given. In fact, don’t join up with any secret globe-conquering society that has a folding card table anywhere, let alone in the main control room.”
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Comments
Comment from KeithA
Time: October 3, 2007, 2:54 pm
If an Indian ever complains about a Caucasian playing an Indian, you just remind them of when an Indian played a Chinese guy.
Comment from John Doe
Time: October 3, 2007, 8:39 pm
Now this is classic Teleport City reviewing. The first half is a learned dissertation on the difficulty of find and researching old Turkish and Indian cult films and why they have relevance to the modern film industry. The actual film recap is almost an afterthought.
Comment from lyzard
Time: October 3, 2007, 9:35 pm
“….In other words, in a world that offers you up something like eight million reviews of Zombie Lake, you’d think you’d be able to find at least one review of Farz….”
To be fair, we wrote at least four million of those ourselves.
Comment from KeithA
Time: October 5, 2007, 12:43 pm
What’s even worse is after I wrote that, all I thought was, “Man, I think I want to watch Zombie Lake again.” Which might be the first time anyone has ever wanted to watch Zombie Lake again.
Comment from Blake Matthews
Time: October 5, 2007, 12:55 pm
Although coming from the person who once associated “Yor, the Hunter from the Future” with positive adjectives (if I remember correctly), that may not be too strange.
Comment from El Santo
Time: October 5, 2007, 1:35 pm
“Which might be the first time anyone has ever wanted to watch Zombie Lake again.”
Actually, I watch Zombie Lake rather a lot. Not as often as I watch The Bare-Breasted Countess, mind you, but my copy of the DVD has far more than paid for itself in un-spent rental fees (assuming, that is, that any rental shop in my area still owned a copy of Zombie Lake in the first place).
Comment from KeithA
Time: October 5, 2007, 2:54 pm
And that’s why I like you, El Santo. Because few and far between are those of us who will get geuninely excited about the prospect of sitting down to watch a Jess Franco film — let alone a film REJECTED by Jess Franco.
Comment from Zack Handlen
Time: October 3, 2007, 12:04 pm
Haven’t had time to read the review yet, but that picture is _mesmerizing_.