Not quite JAWS, but not GUMS either….
In Shark Kill, a diver and a marine biologist team up to hunt a great white shark that has attacked and killed men working on the pipelines of an oil rig off the Californian coast. This made-for-TV effort is modest in both ambition and execution, but historically important as the first post-Jaws killer shark film.
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Comments
Comment from Liz Kingsley
Time: September 18, 2007, 2:18 pm
All of them, m’dear. ALL of them. I have a certain fondness for Shark Attack 3: Megalodon, but saying that’s the best of the Meg films is rather like saying, “I’m a nicer person than Hitler.”
Thankfully - thankfully!? - I have a have a bunch of Italian Jaws rip-offs to get through before I hit the CGI era.
Comment from Zack Handlen
Time: September 18, 2007, 2:35 pm
You seen Raging Sharks yet, Lyz? I’m not really a connisewer of the genre, but that one (with Corin Nemec, Vanessa Angel, _and_ Corbin Bernsen!) was rather delightful.
Comment from lyzard
Time: September 18, 2007, 4:09 pm
NO!! It’s not available here, and for some reason every copy I’ve seen had a ridiculous price-tag. But you remind me that I should have another go at tracking it down. Thank you. I think.
Comment from Blake Matthews
Time: September 18, 2007, 4:33 pm
That reminds me that Keith was supposed to do a review of that Italian Shark Hunter movie some time back. I almost subjected myself to the PG-13 Megalodon film, but never got around to it.
Comment from The Rev. D.D.
Time: September 21, 2007, 6:47 am
Thank you for the review of Shark Kill. I’ve never seen or really even heard much about it, and you gave me a good idea what it’s about. I was surprised to learn how unlike Jaws it is, especially considering its status as the first film “inspired” by Jaws.
You could never do enough shark movie reviews for me, personally–and not just because I adore sharks and think shark movies are keen. Your obvious love and deep knowledge of them (both shark movies and real sharks) really adds a lot to the pieces, in ways other reviews do not.
Keep up the wonderful work.
Comment from Liz Kingsley
Time: September 21, 2007, 5:15 pm
Thanks, Rev! To be honest, I’d never heard Shark Kill until very recently (we never got it here), and was hesitating over a “grey market” purchase when the Wild Eye release was announced. I think I can safely promise you a lot more shark films on-site - although I can’t say that I’m looking forward to the prospect of dealing with the uncut version of Tintorera!
Comment from Blake Matthews
Time: September 21, 2007, 6:11 pm
So you’re both a shark film and a Jason Voorhees enthusiast? Are you ever going to grace us with Mako: Jaws of Death?
Comment from Liz Kingsley
Time: September 21, 2007, 6:48 pm
There was a time when I would have taken offence at being called a Jason Voorhees enthusiast, but I’m so sick of wisecracking killers that I can really go for someone who gets down to business without opening his mouth.
As for Mako, I am salivating at the thought of it….but my anal-ity insists on my doing things “in order”, so I have a few other things to get through first. I did once try to sell the other B-Guys on the notion of a Richard Jaeckel Roundtable, but all I got was raised eyebrows and blank looks.
Comment from Blake Matthews
Time: September 22, 2007, 11:47 am
What a pity, we could’ve gotten ourselves another review of “King of the Kickboxers” as a result.
Comment from The Rev. D.D.
Time: September 25, 2007, 9:24 am
From all I’ve read about Tintorera, I cannot in any way, shape, or form blame you for your dread…
Comment from lyzard
Time: September 25, 2007, 4:39 pm
But let’s face it: my site is sadly deficient with respect to reviews of soft porn films. (Or as the Stomp Tokyo guys used to put it: “Not enough Maria Ford movies.”)
Comment from El Santo
Time: September 27, 2007, 2:54 pm
Uncut? Do you mean “as compared to the version we had to settle for Down Under once our local equivalent of the British Board of Cranky Old Ladies was through with it,” or is there an even smuttier Mexican edit of Tintorera I wasn’t aware of?
Comment from lyzard
Time: September 27, 2007, 4:19 pm
The uncut print of Tintorera runs over two hours - is that the version you reviewed? The one released here is less than ninety minutes, although I think the cuts were less due to someone taking offence at all the sex, and more to someone’s delusional notion that it’s supposed to be a killer shark film.
Comment from El Santo
Time: September 28, 2007, 10:10 am
Wow. No, I sure don’t remember Tintorera running for better (or perhaps that should be worse) than two hours. That really is a very long time to spend watching that movie.
Comment from lyzard
Time: September 28, 2007, 4:56 pm
I, of course, wouldn’t dream of reviewing anything less than the full-length version. TREMBLE BEFORE ME, PUNY MORTALS!!
Comment from The Rev. D.D.
Time: October 1, 2007, 6:46 am
Oh no…my new, could-be-just-begun beautiful friendship is doomed, because Ms. Kingsley’s brain is going to liquefy and seep out her nose! She’s gonna end up like that poor sap in Overdrawn at the Memory Bank! Oh, the humanity!!
Comment from PCachu
Time: October 1, 2007, 9:57 am
…she’s going to have her consciousness transferred into a drunken monkey, while the rest of us are getting fat on Flav-o-fives and reminding everyone else that they could be watching Casablanca instead?
Comment from lyzard
Time: October 1, 2007, 2:14 pm
I wouldn’t worry about that. For one thing - you’re too late….
Comment from The Rev. D.D.
Time: October 9, 2007, 6:57 am
PCachu–Naw, I meant the sap with the blank brain whose personality was sucked (let’s go with that word, movie!) into the computer by a negative energy SURGE~!!
Ms. Kingsley–Too late? So you’re typing all this while blankly staring into the distance while a bad actress pretends she’s totally distraught by the horror of it all? Or are you doing so while inside a drunken baboon getting hassled by male baboons and rowdy elephants?
Either way, I’ll reverse the access code and save you! It’s so simple the Chairman probably never thought I’d try it!
Comment from Blake Matthews
Time: October 9, 2007, 7:15 am
I hope your happy, Liz. Because of your shark movie reviews (and subsequent posting), I had a dream that I was hunting giant sharks this morning. I’m not making this up.
Comment from lyzard
Time: October 9, 2007, 8:51 pm
Well, I don’t know if I’m happy. Who won: you or the sharks?
Comment from Blake Matthews
Time: October 10, 2007, 6:48 am
We couldn’t find the shark after its initial appearance, so nobody won.
Comment from The Rev. D.D.
Time: October 10, 2007, 8:53 am
I say give the sharks a win by default, just ’cause they need it against the greatest killing machine Earth has ever known…
Comment from KeithA
Time: October 10, 2007, 12:36 pm
The greatest killing machine the world has ever known is Franco Nero in the movie Shark Hunter, which has an opening ten minutes that goes a little like this: looking like he got hit upside the head with a bag of hippie, the Shark Hunter sits attentively on a beach. Seeing a shark int he distance, he lets out a primal whoop and runs off to haul it in with his bare hands. When the line fails him, he plunges into the water to wrestle the shakr, returning victoriously with its carcass to the beach. Immediately after that, he makes love to his his beautiful woman in his open air beach bungalow, then goes to a bar and beats up half a dozen guys, then goes parasailing — which isn’t very tough, until the part where he, spying another shark, jumps out of his parachute harness, plunges into the ocean far below, and starts punching the shark in the face.
Comment from Blake Matthews
Time: October 10, 2007, 12:46 pm
Are you making this up?
Comment from KeithA
Time: October 10, 2007, 3:54 pm
No sir. directed by Enzo G. Castellari. After the intro, it settles down into a rip-off of The Deep, but man, that intro is really something. And if you can imagine it all happening to Guido and Maurizio DeAngelis synthy prog-rock…
Comment from Blake Matthews
Time: October 10, 2007, 4:17 pm
That would fit anyone’s definition of a “man’s man.”
Comment from Matthew Fudge
Time: October 11, 2007, 3:18 am
“I sees me a shark, I gotta punch it. I can’t help it, they just really wind me up with their pointy noses and thousands of little teeth, take that you fishy bastard!”
Comment from Blake Matthews
Time: September 18, 2007, 10:26 am
Interesting review, Liz. Have you ever subjected yourself to those faux-MEG movies? I actually haven’t, but watching clips from them has killed any possible desire on that front.